Steve was eleven monhs old and we were in the parsonage at Albert City. We had gotten a grocery store Christmas tree and put it up. We were letting it fall before trying to decorate it at the last minute. Steve was walking and got right into the tree with his toddler curiosity. He had a great time. Ten minutes later he was on the floor, having seizures and spiking a temperature of about 103.
We rushed him to the Buena Vista County hospital. They did a spinal tap and started talking about things like meningitis, encephalitis, paralysis and death. They said they couldn't any more for him. We decided to rush him to Sioux City, 70 miles away. The snow had begun to fall and by the time we left it was a full-fledged blizzard. A trip that normally took 90 minutes was nearly three hours long. The ambulance left ahead of us, and we hoped it went faster. But we didn't know, in that age before cell phones.
During those three hours we experienced a riot of emotions--fear, anger, grief, confusion. We weren't sure if our little boy was alive or dead. About halfway through the trip, after I had raged some more, Anne said quietly,"He was never ours, you know. We just have him on loan from God. If I understand this Lutheran baptism thing (she grew up Baptist), then that's what we believe, right?"
I nodded as I thought some more. She continued. "He came to us from God. He is God's hands now. No matter what happens, that will be true, right?" Of course she was right. We had him on loan. That calmed our nerves somehow. The good news is that all turned out fine for Steve and for us.
It was one of many moments when my sweetheart was the theological professor and I was the student. I was blessed to learn from her for over three decades.
On loan--I think of that now as I think about my dearest Annie girl. I miss her desperately at every moment, even as I begin to think about ways to move forward with living. But she was never mine really. She was on loan from God for a time, and I am so blessed to have been the loan recipient. Now she is where she will always be. I find great comfort and happiness in that.
Lowell,
ReplyDeleteI so appreciate your writing and have forwarded your blog link to a friend of mine in Florida who just lost her husband earlier this month. Understandably so, she is so very anquished over Ron's passing. I am hoping your reflectons will give her a glimmer of hope. Her name is Sydney Gerry and her email is sydgerrey@gmail.com. Her son David is with her until Friday, Dec. 17, and then he will return to his home in D.C. Syd is legally blind and was very dependent on her husband, Ron, to whom she was married more than 40 years. She has reached out to churches in Florida, where they just moved to in October, but no one has returned her calls. Thank you for your reflections, Lowell. I am so sorry for your loss.
Paula Bosco Damon
A resident of Southeast South Dakota, Paula Damon is a national award-winning columnist. Her columns have won first-place in National Federation of Press Women, South Dakota Press Women and Iowa Press Women Communications Contests. In the 2009 and 2010 South Dakota Press Women Communications Contest, Paula's columns took a total of five first-place awards. To contact Paula, email pauladamon@iw.net, follow her blog at http://my-story-your-story.blogspot.com/ and find her on FaceBook.